Dear sisters of heart and night,

My magic feels broken.

Maybe you feel it too. Discouraged. Disappointed. Weighted down by this coming election season. And by the threat of losing our voices, votes, autonomy, rights and bodies. (Maybe you already lost those. Depends where you live. Who would’ve thought we’d be saying that in 2024?)

It could be you have a secret or intimate or personal failure or private wish that isn’t coming true. (And feeling selfish for even wanting it.)

Do you think you’re sabotaging your manifestations? Feeling you’re somehow not doing “it” right?

Have you abandoned your art? Your business? Your childhood dream? Are you living the big life you imagined for yourself?

Blame mercury retro or solar flares or whatever. Maybe you have the wrong coach or church, guru or candidate.

But grieve  because it’s not a lie. There are heartbreaks all around.  The center isn’t holding.

 

The Personal is Political

I fell this week. I feel like I’ve been in a car wreck. Laying in my bed I feel ruined. Lazy.

The laziness is the worst. It’s a symptom of the pressure to extract from ourselves labor, effort, work, spunk and measureables.

Shouldn’t us spiritual types be masters of mind over matter by now?

Not being outside lifting things or driving places, I have time to think of mistakes I’ve made and ways I’ve hurt people.

My fall from grace. Shunning. Exile.

If you’ve ever failed, or settled or believed you aren’t a magnificent being — that you are ordinary, stop.

Here’s your chance to wake up and be your powerful self.

Grieve, yes. We’ve lost and caused and given up plenty.

Make amends, yes. Ask forgiveness. But please, move on.

Forgive yourself, You are more than your mistakes. More than the woman you see in the mirror.

You are forgiven from the moment your heart asks. Angels fly to minister to you. As they rush to anybody you may have hurt or failed.

(I’m revising this in the week after Trump was found guilty on 30-something counts of law-breaking and who immediately began the undermining of the entire justice system. What is guilt or forgiveness in that context?)

You know, sometimes we fuck up because history, patriarchy, fear, the system has kept things from us: our power. Freedom. Our own voice and choice. The truth.

So we try to abide by the rules but it feels empty. We can’t name it but a wanting rises up. It’s transgressive. It’s exciting but there’s no satisfaction in it. It’s not enough. Inside we disappear a little more but still, the gaze is on us.

Our body.

Our freedom. Our right to abortion, the vote, the equal pay, the self -respect.

Do we just surrender?  (How odd I suddenly thought about changing curtains. Do you see the programming of diversion? What is a woman supposed to think about? How she’ll look in the pictures. Whether wearing pajamas to the school assembly is okay.)

 

The Spiritual Bypass

Lately I spend days hating magic and the Goddess. I vow to quit everything and stop hopefully watching for signs. I let my native depression in.

But, then I have to turn myself back to the sunrise: we are here to learn love. We are not only these bodies stuck in this time of manipulation and misogyny.

So blah, blah, yes you are a spiritual being. But while you’re here, follow your suspicious knowing – everything that feels like dissatisfaction and heresy, that’s the road out of the woods. Your spiritual solution (aka: calling.)

How do we get political while remembering life is an illusion? How do we avoid the spiritual bypass?

We disciple ourselves.

We vow to practice courage, love, intention, integrity, amends, honesty and hope.

We get “bitchy.”

We create a revolutionary magical practice.

 

Claim the power that is primordially yours.

Stop serving. Stop showing up. It’ll undermine and subvert the Order. It’ll give you room to really feel what faith, salvation, holiness, divinity, and “God/Goddess” really look like.

Only after we leave the structure behind can we see it: that the Goddess, the sacred temple, the healing, the embodiment of enlightenment, the meditation itself:

Is you.

Live in power.

Blessed be,
Diane